Can I get a Window Seat

This photograph is so beautiful I like the focus of the three flowers and the blurred out background.

This morning I woke up tired really tired and sore from the monthly cramps. I got up to make my bfs lunch and breakfast and because I was tired I tried my best to pursue doing this with love without bitching. Then I thought of how he must feel working three jobs. I'm proud of him for keeping it up. He's so ambitious and that is what I ♥ about my man even though sometimes he is very difficult and we argue what is the point I know he loves me so why do I allow my brain to tell me he doesn't when we argue. I guess arguing can be healthy sometimes I'm told but not to the point where it's heartfelt or name calling. Anyways I continued doing this made what I could with the food we had in the fridge.

I really need a job. I hate asking my mother, boyfriend for money. I been trying but I am not in good luck right at the moment. So I am sending out positive energy so that I may attain a JOB! Sometime in the Near future.

Baby Steps

Taking the first steps toward a more positive attitude towards life is what this blog is all about.
I have continuously been thinking negatively and it is leaving me behind and getting me nowhere to where my heart wants to be. I feel that something inside me is lacking because negativety and troubled thoughts crowd my mind and make me feel like I am insane. It is holding me back from beautiful moments with my family, friends and the new opportunities that may appear into my life through attraction of positive thinking. So let that be an intro to what this blog is all about. It's not as though I want attention or to be followed or however this blogger.com works it is simply a way of me venting from the mind, heart, and soul. Hoping to grow to know myself a little more clearly and flourish into a more positive outlook on life.


Today began and I felt as though I was doing everything so wrong. I am not liked, I am not pretty, I am fat, I am crazy, I am not smart, I will never finish highschool or go to university. My dreams have somehow been put under and reality has taken over my life. Harsh realities that I don't even need to be thinking about sometimes haunt my brain and it is emotionally abusing me! Who would have thought my own mind would do something like that to me. But As I was talking to a friend in fourth period he gave me a lot of food for thought. He began by explaining to me that our souls are a perfect substance inside of us that attracts what we send out to the universe, he went on with telling me that our mind & thoughts are very different from our souls because our thoughts can weaken us, hold us back, make us lazy, and play tricks on us. On the contrary our souls are nothing like this. Our souls do not cause us pain, it works with us to help us live our lives in this universe as happy individuals. Then I began to think about how I thought my mind was in control of everything, sometimes I thought of horrible things and then a thought would produce another horrifying thought and I would begin with another panic attack or a long period of anxiety because I was just nervous from the thoughts that were holding me back from being relaxed calm and alert to what is actually going on. So from the enlighting conversation I carried the advice with me throughout the day and felt a little better about myself.